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No matter where you go, what you do, the career you pick or the family you’re born into, you’re going to end up meeting and knowing some negative people. In my first post in this series, I talked about the different kinds of negative people you might come across. This time we’re going to talk about how to deal with these people.

First of all, these negative people come in different categories depending on how close they are to you. What do I mean? I’ll explain.

Co-Workers

Yep, negative people need jobs too! They’re probably in YOUR work place too, aren’t they? Most of the time, you’re just going to have to tolerate these people, however, I want to bring something up for just a moment that I hope you’ll really take to heart…

If you are you in a completely negative work place, if you are majorly under-appreciated, if you are beaten down and come home feeling defeated, down, and sick about going to work the next day- you don’t have to put up with that! Even in this economy, there are opportunities for hard workers, positive people and self-starters.  You deserve to be appreciated and to have a job you love. I just want you think about it, okay? NO ONE has to put up with a job that makes them feel badly about themselves.

But in most work places there just a couple negative people who really have a tendency to bring the rest of us down, right? There’s no ignoring these people because you probably have to interact with them or work on projects with them or even report to them. Since you can’t cut them out of your life, as I’ll talk about later, you have to find a way to stay positive and still keep a good rapport with your co-workers. Here is what you need to do:

1. Don’t gossip with them. As we talked about before, negative people will sometimes put others down to feel good about themselves. The truth of the matter is, if they’re gossiping to you about others, they’re also gossiping to others about YOU. So why take part in that? If you’re there and they want to gossip to you, don’t laugh at what they say, don’t comment- just go for that awkward silence. It will make an impact and they’ll think twice next time. You can also steer the conversation in another direction.
2. Don’t fall prey to self-pitying complaints. Isn’t it so easy when someone else is complaining to start complaining with them? If the negative people in the office start complaining, especially about the job, you can listen, but you don’t have to listen for hours and hours on end, okay? You can listen to their concerns, validate them, and then let them know how you deal with it, or try to put a positive spin on it. If they STILL insist on complaining or giving you that “woe is me” spiel, politely excuse yourself from the conversation. Don’t let yourself be bogged down to see the negativity in each and every situation. Stay strong!
3. Be the positive person you know you are. It’s really tough when you have a project you have to complete with these negative people or if they sit right next to you in the office. The most important thing is to stay true to who you are. You can spread positivity and eventually it WILL sink in. You can’t change or fix people, but you can spread your positivity. Walk into the office in a great mood and it will set the tone for the whole office. Maybe, just maybe, your positivity will rub off onto enough people that those Negative Neds will be negated!

Friends

You’re not going to like what I have to say about this category of negative people in your life. Negative people do not have a place in your life so why would you allow negative people in your close circle? It’s time to tighten your circle!

Friends are people who lift you up, encourage you, are happy for you when things go well, can pick you up when you’re feeling down, celebrate with you, give you advice and talk sense into you when you need it. If you have people in your circle of friends who aren’t doing these things…. you need to cut them out. I know it sounds harsh, but you have to protect yourself.

Negative “friends” suck the life out of you- they drain you like a black hole. These are not true friends. I know sometimes we hold onto these people because we’ve been friends with them forever and we just think that they’ll come around and maybe even that we can fix them (more on why we can’t fix people in the next post). In the mean time, while we’re waiting for them to turn into a positive person like us, we are slowly losing who we are. We are having a hard time seeing the good in anything and we’re starting to give into those self-pitying complaints all the time.

You have to get rid of them- you have to. It’s okay to do that, you know? It’s okay to protect yourself by cutting the negativity out of your life. It’s survival and it’s necessary. I don’t want you to feel badly or guilty about doing that. You can’t be the best you for everyone who truly needs you if you are being bogged down by negativity. Do this for you, do it for your family and do it for your true friends. They are your priority in life and you don’t want negativity to compromise that.

We want to be cordial and polite to everyone, but we do NOT have to be friends with everyone and we do NOT have to spend a lot of time with everyone! Save your positivity, light and spirit for those who TRULY deserve it!

Family

This could very well be one of hardest categories to deal with. I mean, it’s family, right? You’re kind of stuck with them- good or bad; positive or negative.

Here’s the thing about family, you have to hope that you can give them constructive criticism and they’ll take it and use it and still love you… because they’re family. That’s the best case scenario with this category. I think with family we always want to help and if the intention behind it is good, it’s okay to offer some advice, but again you CANNOT fix them. Be the good example and tell them, privately, when they’re being a Debbie Downer. See what the root of the problem is- they may just need a sympathetic ear and they’ll perk up.

It’s not logical to think you can cut them out completely, but as with anyone if they’re dragging you down, you do NOT have to spend a ton of time with them. You can be there for them, you can listen to them, but do not let them bring you down or suck your positivity. You got me?

In a nutshell, it’s important to protect yourself and your positivity. Don’t let those negative people in your life drain you of your spirit. You have such a wonderful outlook on life and you enjoy it- no one, I repeat, NO ONE should be allowed to make you feel differently. That’s up to you- you have full responsibility in holding onto your positive attitude! It’s not your responsibility to fix people (as we’ll talk about next time) but it is your responsibility to STAY POSITIVE!